


Not Again!

by WolfStar2018



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Dreams and Nightmares, Happy Cuddly Boys, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Snuggling makes Everything Better, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Gets a Hug, Stucky - Freeform, They make a nest of blankets and pillows, dreaming about death, nightmare fic, steve/bucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-07 04:23:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19201822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfStar2018/pseuds/WolfStar2018
Summary: Bucky dies. Again and Again and Steve is helpless to stop it.





	Not Again!

**Author's Note:**

> There are slight mentions of canon-typical violence. I tried not to be too graphic but I chose to put the archive warning just in case it might be a trigger. Feel free to comment and let me know if I need to add tags at all. Thank you so much for reading!! Let me know what you think! Comments and Kudos make my day!

Steve didn't know what to do. His best friend was dying in arms. There was a bullet hole in Bucky's side that wouldn't stop bleeding. The sounds of bombs, screaming soldiers, and gun fighting went on around him but he paid it no mind. Steve was losing the one thing that meant the most to him. He tried to ignore the pain in his heart and the tears running down his face looking around to find a way to save Bucky. He couldn't locate a medic. Then he noticed Bucky had stopped breathing. His heart shattered as he sat and held Bucky in his arms.

Suddenly there was a blinding flash and deafening silence, but it only lasted a moment. When the light faded from Steve's eyes Bucky wasn't in his arms anymore. He stood up and tried to shout but nothing came out. Out of the corner of his eye he caught movement and turned to his left to see what it was. Bucky was locked in a tank that was slowly filling with water. The water was up to Bucky's knees and Bucky was shouting for Steve, banging on the glass. Steve rushed over and started trying to break the glass. He looked around but there was no door. It was like the glass had been formed around Bucky. By now the water but up to Bucky's face. Bucky was gonna drown and there was nothing Steve could do. He watched helpless as the water flowed over Bucky's face. Then Bucky was just floating. Steve watched Bucky die. Again.

Suddenly another flash. This time Bucky is in the ICU at the hospital. Steve is sitting by his side, holding his hand. The machines beeping and wheezing. Forcing Bucky to breath. Forcing Bucky's heart to keep beating. Giving him nutrients. Steve was crying. Bucky was going to die. Bucky's body wasn't keeping him alive anymore. Steve's phone was playing a song they used to dance to. “And now, I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end, the way it all would go/Our lives, are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss, The Dance”. The beeping stopped. Steve's heart shattered.

Another flash and the hospital room was gone. They were out in a field. The Howling Commandos by their sides. They had run out of rations so they were searching for food in woods. They each found some and when they met back by the tents they started eating a bit of it. Suddenly Bucky fell over. He wasn't breathing and his heart had stopped. Just like that. No warning. Steve looked back at the makeshift table. One of the Howlies told Steve Bucky had eaten Hemlock. There was nothing Steve could do. Steve couldn't breath. He just lost Bucky again.

This time the flash was almost expected. What wasn't expected was the screaming. Steve opened his eyes and saw Bucky. Strapped to the chair HYDRA had used. Their were people in lab coats all around. They were sticking needles into Bucky's arms. Steve tried to get to Bucky to help him, but noticed he was strapped down as well. He couldn't move at all. He could only watch helplessly as Bucky was tortured. Bucky opened his eyes and looked at Steve, screamed Steve's name. Screamed for help. Steve couldn't speak. He could barely breath. He watched as the lab coats continued. Then there was another guy. Steve couldn't see the guy's face but he could see the glinting silver knife in the guy's hand. The mysterious figure loomed over Bucky and Steve heard Bucky screaming again. Bucky was so close and yet so far and Steve could do nothing. Steve was crying. He couldn't watch Bucky die again. Steve watched as the man continued to torture Bucky. Suddenly the screaming stopped. The mysterious figure stalked away and Steve was left alone in the room with Bucky. Even the lab coats were gone. Steve finally found his voice as he screamed Bucky's name. But Bucky didn't respond. He was dead. Again.

Steve was sobbing and struggling to get out of the restraints. He heard something faintly in his ear. He didn't want to listen though. He needed to get to Bucky. He needed to help. There had to be something he could-

“Steve!” Wait, was that Bucky's voice? Steve opened his eyes and saw his bedroom. The one he shared with Bucky. He stopped struggling and heard panting breaths and felt the arms and legs holding him down. He couldn't stop sobbing even as he realized the arms were Bucky's. “Steve,” Bucky whispered this time, “are you awake now?”

Words wouldn't come so Steve just nodded. Bucky loosened his grip and Steve immediately turned and grabbed the back of Bucky's shirt. He buried his face in Bucky's shoulder and continued sobbing while Bucky just rubbed his back and combed his fingers through Steve's hair. Bucky just held Steve and whispered in his ear that everything was going to be okay. “It's alright, Stevie, I'm here. I'm not gonna leave right now.” Steve hadn't realized he had started speaking until Bucky said that.

After Steve's sobbing had stopped and his breathing returned to normal Bucky asked what he was dreaming of. “I...I can't, Buck, its...I can't.” He whispered because his throat was sore now.

“Steve, babydoll, you know I'm here for you. You need to talk about it. Remember? I can't let you ignore what they told us at the VA.” Bucky said gently.

Steve sat up and hugged his legs close to his chest. “You died.” His voice was barely above a whisper and Bucky sat up and got closer to hear him better. “You died again and again and all I could do was watch. Gun shot. Drowning. Hemlock, because you thought it was edible. The last one was the worst.” Bucky put his arm around Steve's shoulder and Steve buried his face in Bucky's hair, breathing him in, reassuring himself that Bucky was here, alive and okay. “I was strapped down looking at you. You were strapped to the chair in the HYDRA lab. Men in lab coats were sticking you with needles. Then someone came and was torturing you. I couldn't...I can't...I can still feel the helplessness. The pain and horror of watching you die again and again. Why? Why do I have these dreams? I can't live without you, Buck.” Steve's voice had been quiet but broke on the last word.

Bucky sounded close to tears himself when he said, “I'm not sure, sweetheart. I have nightmares too, you know. I can't even count how many times I've killed you with my bare hands in my dreams. Stevie, we're both here though. We're gonna be fine, okay?” Bucky paused to kiss the top of Steve's head. “Do you want to go lay on the couch with the tv on?”

Steve finally looked at Bucky's face. “Buck! Did I hit you?!” There was a fairly decent sized bruise on Bucky's left eye.

“Stevie, it doesn't even hurt anymore. I'll be okay, I promise.” Bucky said as he started to grab pillows. “Come on, I got the pillows. You grab blankets and we can make a little nest on the floor in front of the tv. Kay, baby?” Steve nodded at Bucky's words and grabbed all the blankets he could carry. When they finally had a cozy nest of blankets and pillows and were comfortably snuggling together, they turned on Netflix and settled on Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler. They both fell asleep with the sound of laughing ringing in their ears.


End file.
